Monday, December 16, 2013

I want you to know my world isn't just snapshots of black and white. There isn't always moody lighting and great depth of field and something interesting to see. There's a lot of work and entirely too much cough medicine and a big pile of tissues. Books and bagels and coffee shops come every once in awhile. There's a lot of waiting. Empty shots. Devoid of purpose. Simply passing time until the next train/bus/stop. There is so much time passing in my life. Time spent waiting for the next phase. The next step. The next stage of life where I can be anything and be anywhere but


But it's all fine and good until I start thinking about how much money I've spent for school, how much I've yet to spend, and how much I will owe in just a few short years. But somehow those same short years seem like eternity in terms of school semesters. I've just had this negative energy around me for awhile, swirling in my thoughts, telling me, "it sucks to be in school" and "you're never going to get out of here." It's been affecting my life and my perspective on things and honestly I've been feeling weighed down, making it hard to do anything.

So one day Sad Katherine was just moping around, going about her boring business when suddenly she thought,

"Katherine, you're going to be in school for awhile. As in, years. It wouldn't kill you to enjoy yourself and actually commit wholeheartedly to doing well in school again. You are choosing to wish away what could be some of the best years of your life. Stop it. Quit complaining and enjoy the opportunities you have that most only dream of. Your time will come to graduate. Your time will come to have a job. At this stage of your life, do what you came here to do, and do it with pride. Stop living for tomorrow, living for when you graduate, and living for when you leave this place. Live passionately, and live for now."

 And it was kind of like I stepped outside of myself and said, "Right. Sorry. Let me just get back on track." Like how did this come from my own mind? It just popped into my head that day and I realized that sometimes we get so caught up in what we're doing, that we forget what we're actually doing. I'm at school. A student, learning and furthering my education. So whatever you're doing today, do it well. And don't get so caught up you forget what your purpose is.



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